Not That Big
by Val-Creative
Summary: JJ's smile trembles apart, newly born of grief. "We can't win them all, right?" /Canon Era. JJBek. Oneshot.


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Extravagance — _importance_ , that's the key.

JJ knows he's hotshit. He deserves the best. Because he works hard and succeeds, and has the assortment of gold metals to prove it. There's nothing wrong with wanting the best things all for yourself, whether it's a luxury hotel in Beaconsfield, UK, or getting a long, hard fuck on Otabek's Altin's cock.

Sometimes it's both things at once.

It feels _damn_ good to be stomach-first, JJ's ass and his hips bouncing on fur-lined blankets. This way, he can give a spectacular view to his partner, reveal his toned muscles and baby-soft flesh.

Otabek's hands, bare and callused, move along him, pressing and massaging over the length of JJ's back, when the thrusts become slow and shallow. He occasionally kisses down, nose and mouth caressing his upper back and lower, biting one area until JJ's vision spins and dissolves into blinding white starlight.

The last thrusts are gonna be rough, and they _are_.

So fucking good.

Otabek holds down the other man, putting considerable weight down on JJ's shoulders so he can't squirm, pounding in, _in_.

"Don't stop, fuck, _fuck_ fuck—"

JJ moans the rest of his sentence, his back muscles and ass clenching visibly. The orgasm forcibly empties out his reason and thoughts, and every sense. He concentrates instead on Otabek's full, heavy balls throbbing against the back of JJ's thighs, as the other man rides out his own orgasm, panting and grunting.

After another _blissful_ minute, Otabek carefully eases out of him, getting off the bed.

"In a hurry?" JJ calls out, sweating and smiling, pushing himself up on his elbows. It's a dim, rosy light powered from the crystal-encrusted, gigantic chandeliers suspended over them, unable to reflect on the embossed leather and chequered tiles making up the walls of the suite-room. "I was gonna crack open the wine bottle."

Otabek lowers his eyes, pulling on his drawstring, black-plaid trousers.

"No thanks."

A hearty chuckle. "Otabek—" JJ says, crossing his legs and sitting up. He cloaks a sable fur blanket round himself, for the appeal of modesty. "You're making it very difficult to confess my feelings for you. Sit down."

Of all the things JJ thought he would hear, it wasn't…

" _I can't._ "

A choking-thin hush permeates the air between them. JJ's mouth and throat feels swollen, as if he's been punched. "You're holding out for someone?" JJ asks, supposing the first, and most obvious, explanation.

It's not that he—he didn't _expect_ that—

Otabek's nostrils flare, and his expression dulls.

"I love him," he confesses, as if waking slowly from a dream. It's been a _beautiful_ dream. Because Otabek has confessed the truth, finally, and JJ's world sharpens in a pained, brittle clarity. "I haven't told him. We haven't been together, not like this, not like a couple. One day, I think… I want that with him."

JJ's smile trembles apart, newly born of grief. "He's lucky… even if he doesn't know it yet."

Otabek stares at him, eyebrows furrowing.

" _Jean_ …"

"We can't win them all, right?" JJ says, falsely cheerful, spreading out his arms. He scrubs his fingertips over his eyes frantically, loathing how puffy and wet they're quickly becoming.

Otabek doesn't approach him, or comfort him with lies and insincerity. JJ would _hate_ him for it. He only finishes dressing, murmuring a "good night, Jean" and leaving him the rosy light and extravagance.

There's no _golden_ victory this time.

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* * *

 _YOI isn't mine. IT IS WEDNESDAY, MY DUDES. [SCREECHING INTENSIFIES] Alright, well, today is a sad fic day. I didn't mean for it to be so sad, but I've kinda lived through JJ's experience in this, so it does happen for reals. Maybe it's a little venting. Prompt off the yoikinkmeme: " **Any/Any + NSFW, One Night Stand.**_  
 _ **Character A accidentally confesses after a one night stand with Character B. (Or alternatively: Character A accidentally confesses to both Character B and Character C after one night stand.)** " which I'm actually wanting to try the happier OT3 version. Anywoo. Any thoughts/comments appreciated!  
_


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